Serenity
by xlolabug12x
Summary: In which Juvia doesn't think she's beautiful. And Gray is all too happy to prove her wrong. Gruvia, post-GMG.


**Title: **Serenity

**Summary: ** In which Juvia is having confidence issues. And Gray is all too happy to prove her wrong. Gruvia, post-GMG.

**Rating:** …T? Mentions of nudity but definitely not explicit or raunchy. Some of it is used for humor, actually.

**Author's Note:** Blah. This all sounded so much better in my head. I tried going for something sweet and I know that realistically, Juvia wouldn't feel this way, but it's fanfic for a reason. It was really hard writing in third person when it came to Juvia's thoughts. I decided to alternate because really, that's what Juvia does in the manga, ne?

I'm pretty new to Fairy Tail, so I still don't know exactly everything that's going on. If I get any details wrong, please point them out to me and tell me how to correct them, and I will do so. (:

I like to imagine Gray being romantic in a bit of a rough, serious, yet sweet way. Forgive me if either Gray or Juvia appear OOC.

* * *

Juvia knows she's being petty.

It's quite ridiculous, really, especially after everything she and Fairy Tail have gone through, from winning the Grand Magic Games to putting a stop to the Eclipse Plan. Juvia knows this is a trivial matter, one of little importance, but it just _won't stop bugging her_ and no matter how hard she tries to ignore it, it just keeps coming back, stronger than before. Juvia can't help but hate herself even more, because she knows she has it better than others but she can't stop that pang in her chest that appears every time she looks in the mirror.

Said mirror is standing in front of her, cracked from the impact of her fist.

Juvia sits on the floor, curled up in a ball and wearing nothing but her bath robe. Her knuckles are bleeding and there's glass imbedded in her hand, but she pays them no mind. She made the mistake of looking in the mirror right after her shower, and her mind immediately started to focus on the flaws, the little things that are barely noticeable to others but stand out like a huge, glaring zit to her. She tried to pull her eyes away, but the mirror was like a magnet, attracting her against her will.

Juvia _knows_ her eyes aren't as weirdly shaped and droopy as she sees them, she _knows_ her nose isn't as big as it appears in front of her, she _knows_ her thighs aren't the size of an elephant's, yet she can't stop herself from seeing it. The image in front of her keeps on distorting itself, adding flaws that aren't there and ones that shouldn't even be important to her, but it still kills her. That's what happens to women with insecurity issues and she's aware of this. But the seed of insecurity has already been planted in her head and it just continues to grow, feeding on her weakness of mind.

_Lucy and Erza always look so perfect_, she thinks sadly._ So effortlessly beautiful...they're the epitome of what a Fairy Tail girl should look like. Mirajane and Cana, too. Big, beautiful eyes...perfect bodies...confidence...Juvia can't even begin to compare. Maybe that's why Gray-sama won't notice her. She isn't beautiful like the others._

Juvia wails and falls backwards, letting her back hit the floor with loud thud. Her knuckles throb, blood dripping from her hand and onto the floor. She knows she's being dramatic, but she has the benefit of privacy on her hands at the moment. Juvia would never dare show the members of Fairy Tail this behavior. They would surely view her as pathetic.

_Juvia is supposed to go to the guild in a little bit_, she thinks vaguely. _We're celebrating again...but surely they wouldn't mind Juvia's absence just this once._

With that thought, she rolls over and focuses on the wall.

* * *

_Damn it, Juvia_. Gray scowls as he makes his way to her apartment. The ice mage had noticed her absence less than five minutes into the party, but decided not to say anything, thinking she would show up sooner or later. However, an hour had passed and more people began to notice she wasn't there, so of course Mirajane demanded that Gray be sent out to look for her.

_What the hell could that woman be doing?_ He thinks. _She's always early to parties and she doesn't take long to get ready. I know she's not in danger because I would have felt it by now. And as far as I know she's not on a mission either. Erza said she saw her earlier today._ He stares at the ground.

_Hn. Women are weird._

* * *

Juvia doesn't know how much time has passed since she started staring at the wall. It's quite nice, actually, and not as boring as she thought it would be. Almost...relaxing.

_Juvia could get used to this_, she thinks sourly. _That way she don't keep on breaking mirrors. That has to be the third one she's-_

Her thoughts are cut off by a loud knock and Juvia jumps. She glances at the door.

_Oh no! Somebody from the guild must have been sent to check up on Juvia._

Juvia can't decide whether to feel flattered or annoyed. Sure, she's glad they care enough about her to worry about her absence, but she can't help but feel a bit irritated at them for ruining her alone time. Can't she wallow in peace?

With the grace of a drunken monkey, Juvia pulls herself from the ground. She notices that her robe is dangerously close to falling open, but she doesn't fix it.

…A decision she quickly regrets once she opens the door and sees her beloved Gray-sama standing there, looking at her with wide eyes and a very faint blush on his cheeks.

* * *

"G-GRAY-SAMA!" Juvia shrieks, trying desperately to readjust her robe without having to open it. For goodness sake, she wasn't wearing anything underneath it! "What are you doing here?"

Gray's eyes have returned to normal, but the faint tinge of pink stills rests on his cheekbones. The dim lighting of the room prevents Juvia from seeing it, though, much to his relief.

"Juvia," he frowns at her. "Why are you still here? The party started an hour ago."

"Ano..." Juvia bites her lip and tears her eyes away from him, trying to come up with a believable lie. "Juvia was...she accidentally fell asleep!" She sends him a bright smile and nods vigorously, hoping he believes her bluff. "Yes...I just got out of the shower but I'm about to get ready! I'm sorry for worrying you guys!"

Gray raises his eyebrow at her sudden change from third person to first person speech. _Juvia only talks in first person when she's not happy. She's lying to me._

"No, really...I'll be there soon!" she grins at him, discreetly trying to adjust her arm so her hand is hidden behind her back. Gray notices this out of the corner of his eye.

"What are you hiding behind your back, Juvia?"

"N-Nothing!" Juvia is clearly beginning to get flustered.

Gray lets his eye wander around the room behind her. Baby blue walls, white furniture, cracked mirror...ah.

Gray squints his eyes as he tries to look closer and Juvia begins to panic. _What does Gray-sama see behind me?_

Juvia watches as his eyes widen slightly before hardening. "Juvia," he says again, in a voice so low it gives Juvia goosebumps. "There's blood on the floor. Let me see your hand."

"But...!"

Juvia squeaks as Gray grabs her arms and forcefully, albeit gently, pulls her hand out from behind her back. His jaw hardens when he looks at her bloody knuckles and the tiny bits of glass. He looks her straight in the eyes. Juvia opens her mouth but Gray cuts her off.

"This is no accident, so don't even try to make up some bullshit excuse. Nobody breaks a mirror with their fist by accident. What's going on?"

Juvia wilts and hunches her back. She can no longer meet his eyes.

"Come in, Gray-sama. I'd rather talk to you in here."

Gray follows her into the room and watches as she sits on the floor, right it front of the mirror and next to the blood stain. She refuses to let her eyes meet the mirror.

_What's gotten into her?_ He thinks suspiciously. _This isn't normal behavior for Juvia_.

Gray plops down next to Juvia and just stares at her, waiting for her to start her explanation. Juvia doesn't tear her eyes from the floor.

"Juvia..." She starts, but her lip wobbles a little bit, so she bites it. She takes a deep breath. "...is ugly."

Gray stares at her.

"What?"

"Juvia is ugly!" She repeats with a sniffle.

Gray sweatdrops. _The hell? This is why she punched the mirror?_

"You're not ugly. Why are you making such a big deal out of this?"

Juvia looks at him in horror. "Why?!" Her eyes begin to water. "Gray-sama, don't you understand? For girls this really is a big deal! Especially when you're surrounded by such beautiful people such as the ones from Fairy Tail!" She is crying in earnest now, and Gray feels a pang in his chest. He didn't mean to be insensitive. "I'm surrounded by girls like Lucy and Erza and Mirajane all the time! Do you think it isn't hard for me, being around beautiful women like them? I feel inadequate, like I'm not good enough! It eats away at me! You'd feel terrible, too, knowing you're the only ugly one in the group. I know it's stupid and immature and God knows you're probably thinking I'm crazy and hormonal and weird and-"

Juvia's rant is stopped by Gray's hand on her lips. He is giving her one of those looks again, the serious stare that never fails to give her chills. "Stop it."

He hears a small whimper when he removes his hand from her mouth. Juvia decides to continue anyway. "But Gray-sama...it hurts me! Especially when we go to the bathhouse...I can hardly stand looking at anyone else because I know I'm gonna start comparing myself to them. I came out of the shower earlier and when I looked in the mirror something in me just snapped." Her voice becomes quiet. "This isn't the first time it's happened, either."

Gray says nothing and continues to stare at the floor, appearing to be in deep thought. Juvia twiddles her fingers together.

After a few minutes Juvia begins to worry. Oh no. _Is Gray-sama mad at me?_ She shuts her eyes, deeply embarrassed by her severe case of word vomit._ Maybe he's trying to find a nice way to break it to me that everything I said was true. I don't think I'll be able to-_

"Stand up."

Juvia's eyes fly open and she looks to her left, but finds herself looking at Gray's legs. He must have stood up when she had her eyes closed.

"Why?"

"Just do it."

Juvia blinks at him in confusion but nonetheless begins to stand on shaky legs. Once she's completely up Gray puts his hands on her shoulders and turns her body so she's facing the mirror. Juvia flinches.

"Juvia doesn't think this is a good-"

"Take it off."

Blink. "What?

Gray rolls his eyes. "Take off your robe."

Silence. Then Juvia shrieks. "EHHHHH?!" Her face turns a fiery red and she's sure her heart's furious beating can be heard throughout the quiet room. Her vision begins to sway a little bit. "W-What do you mean, t-take off my robe?!"

"I'm pretty sure there's no other meaning to 'take off your robe', Juvia."

"Gray-sama, you can't be serious!" Juvia feels like she's going to throw up.

"Try me."

Juvia looks at him. He has a tiny blush on his cheeks and he's subconsciously taken his shirt off, but otherwise looks deadly serious.

"No no no no no...please no..."

"If you don't, then I will. Which do you prefer?"

_Gray-sama stripping me naked? Normally I would be overjoyed, but not now! Not like this!_

Juvia begins inching her hand towards the tie on the robe. There was no third option. He wasn't going to let her get out of this.

She had double-knotted the tie her robe when Gray had come in, so as to not have it fall open. _How ironic_, she thinks with embarrassed amusement. With shaky fingers she undoes the first knot on her robe, but can not bring herself to undo the second one, as the trembling of her hands has gotten worse.

"I...I can't, Gray-sama..."

She squeezes her eyes shut and stands there.

Juvia can't hear anything but the furious beating of her heart.

After about a minute there is still nothing, and she is about to open her eyes when all of a sudden she feels Gray start to undo the last knot on the tie of her robe. Juvia swallows heavily and keeps her eyes tightly shut. Her heart is beating so fast and hard she feels like it's going to explode out of her chest.

She startles a bit shivers when she feels Gray's warm hand slide under her robe and gently slip it off one shoulder, then the other. Her skin breaks out in goosebumps when it meets the cold air. Juvia makes a strangled sound when she hears the robe hit the floor.

_Oh God, I'm naked in front of Gray-sama! Oh God oh God OH GOD!_ Juvia mentally screams. _I think I'm going to faint..._

"Juvia."

She doesn't answer.

She does shiver, though, when she feels Gray's hands slide around her waist and pull her to his chest. _Are ice mages supposed to feel this warm?_

"Open your eyes."

"N-No...If Juvia sees her naked body pressed against Gray-sama's she will faint."

Gray chuckles softly, which surprises Juvia. _Does he find the situation amusing?_ "Please open them. I want you to see what I see."

Juvia's shaking begins to get even worse, but she slowly cracks one eye open, then another.

She was right; the sight of Gray holding her naked body to his chest makes her feel extremely lightheaded and she feels all the blood rush to her face.

"Hey, steady now."

She stands, looking at the mirror and not quite believing the sight. Gray's arms are wrapped around her waist, an almost imperceptible smile on his face. It's very faint, but it's still there. He rests his head on the crook of her shoulder.

_Is this…really Gray-sama? Or am I just dreaming right now?_ She thinks in wonder, momentarily forgetting that she's naked in front of the love of her life. _The Gray-sama I know would never act this affectionate towards me…what is he doing?_

"Okay...tell me what you see, Juvia."

Juvia sighs, knowing she won't get out of this one until she answers his question. Gray is too stubborn to take no for an answer. "I see...a weak person," Juvia's lip starts to wobble. "I see someone who was never loved. Who will never be loved."

Gray doesn't say anything, merely tightens his arms around her, so she continues on.

"I see an ungrateful girl who shouldn't even be crying over something this stupid, but doesn't have the ability to hold it in like any other level-headed person would. I see a weirdo. A freak. A water mage that was taken in out of pity. A girl that isn't a true Fairy Tail mage."

Juvia's eyes begin to water again. Gray can hear the pitter-patter of rain start outside. The drops hit the windows and roll down the smooth surfaces. It's as if the sky and the windows are crying with her. "The girls of Fairy Tail are beautiful. They're so sweet and loved and deserve everything they've got. Their hearts are made of pure gold and their kindness is unrivaled. I was a part of an evil guild before I was taken in by Fairy Tail! Even then nobody cared about me! And I've done so many terrible things! Gray-sama…I intended to kill you when we first met, no matter how much it hurt me!" Juvia covers her face with her hands and tries to stifle a sob. "I don't deserve Fairy Tail's kindness!"

Gray lets Juvia cry it out, saying and doing nothing but rubbing her back as she sobs. He hates dealing with crying women, so he waits. The room is extremely dim now, as the final rays of light are starting to disappear. The only source of light is coming from the bathroom.

Once Juvia's tears have stopped, she looks up at him with big, watery eyes and a shaky smile. It breaks his heart. But of course he wouldn't let anyone know that.

"Now that you've calmed down…do you want me to tell you what I see?"

Juvia's eyes widen and she looks away. "…Do I?"

"Look at the mirror again, Juvia," he tells her, and she scowls but otherwise heeds his instructions.

"Now then," he continues. "I see…a very strong, beautiful, and kind-hearted person."

Juvia squeals and her eyes are suddenly filled with hearts. "Ah! Does Gray-sama really mean it?"

"Er…yeah. Now let me finish. Anyway, I see a brave woman who will do anything to save her comrades, even if it means dying herself. You sacrificed yourself to save Cana once, didn't you? That just proves that you're not as terrible of a person as you think you are. As for when we first met…well, that honestly couldn't have been helped, could it? We were a part of rival guilds and didn't know each other yet. I intended to kill you, or at least knock you unconscious, too. We weren't doing it out of cruelty. We were doing it because it was our job." Juvia's eyes are wide as she takes in Gray's words. "As for you being ugly…are you serious?" Gray's cheeks are once again flushing, much to his chagrin. "You're absolutely beautiful, Juvia. You have an exotic appearance that none of the other girls have. Sure, they're all pretty, too, but none of them have the type of beauty you do. Yours is different. It doesn't necessarily mean that it's bad." Juvia is trying to maintain a calm outward appearance, but she's pretty sure her brain has just melted. _Gray-sama just called me beautiful! While I'm naked!_

"You body ain't half bad either." Gray's face is as flaming red as Juvia's now, and he's suddenly hyperaware of her state of undress, but he's proud of himself for saying it. He wants to be as honest as possible. Screw his pride. "A woman's body is a beautiful thing. Don't ever damage it or degrade it. Juvia, most women would die for a body like yours. It can drive men crazy."_ Like it's dangerously close to doing to me right now._ Of course, he doesn't voice his thoughts out loud. Juvia would lose her mind if she found out what he was thinking. His eyes wander downwards a bit to confirm his thought, but they zip back up to her face quickly. "Your body is just like the other girls'. The ones you called beautiful and perfect. Why can't the same thing apply to you?"

Gray sends an awkward smile her way and prays to whatever divine force out there that Juvia doesn't faint. Instead he finds her looking at him in wonder, almost as is she's having an epiphany of some sort. Her eyes are a bit glazed over, and her mouth is parted slightly. A pretty shade of pink rests on her cheekbones.

_The last time I saw this expression on her face was when she saw the sky for the first time._

"Don't you see? You're perfect the way you are. So don't spend your time hating yourself when you have no reason to."

Gray lets go of Juvia's waist and bends over to pick up the discarded robe on the floor, only to be promptly glomped when he straightens up again.

"Oh, Gray-sama!" Gray's face is so red it appears to be some shade of puce. He's extremely aware of Juvia's very naked chest pressed up against his. _How ironic. I can't handle other people's naked bodies._ "Thank you so much! You have no idea how much this means to me!" She wipes the remaining tears from her face and smiles brightly. "Juvia feels much better now. She'll make sure to take your words to heart."

_After all...if Gray-sama thinks I'm beautiful, nothing else matters, right?_

She grabs the robe from Gray's hands and throws it one the bed.

"Juvia is going to change now. She and Gray-sama will head to the party right afterward." Suddenly she gives him a knowing look and a wink. "Gray-sama can watch if he wishes."

Gray stutters and whips his body around. "N-No! I'll just wait outside!"

He hears Juvia mewl in disappointment when he shuts the door behind him. Gray immediately slides his back down the wall and onto the floor.

_At least she's gained her confidence back._

* * *

"Gray-sama?"

"Yes?"

"Was it really necessary to have Juvia standing _naked_ in front of the mirror?"

"..."

"...I see."

* * *

**Author's Note:** ASDFGHJKL I'M SUCH A HYPOCRITE. I find it so ironic that I wrote this because I have extremely severe insecurity issues. Literally, the one thing I hate the most in the world is myself. I know insecurity may not seem like big deal to most, but to those who suffer from sever cases, it's absolutely devastating. You start losing your mind, hurting yourself, and taking desperate measures to make yourself look better. It eats away at you until you snap. It's happened to me many times before, too.

I can't believe people call Juvia ugly. Dafuq? I would _so_ do her and I'm a straight girl! It was hard writing her as insecure because she has virtually no flaws and from what I can tell, is pretty confident. -_- I feel like this was ridiculously OOC for her and Gray and UGH.

Hopefully this wasn't too terrible. ): I feel llike it could have been done better. And I tried making the hyphens longer and adding a few changes but Doc Manager was being a bitch. :l

I've shipped so many couples, but I've never finished any of my fics, much less published on this site. I'm trying to work up the courage to publish a NaruHina oneshot I've been working on but I'm honestly terrified. Maybe one day. (;

Review if you'd like. If not...at least I had somebody read my piece of crap. :3 You can also send me feedback on my Tumblr or Twitter. Username is xlolabug12x. (: I'd love to hear your thoughts!


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